Thursday, March 21, 2013
Frenetic fun, Stone Age family-style. Three starfish.
The Croods, the new 3D computer-animated feature release from DreamWorks Animation, is the story of a prehistoric family who take a road trip out of necessity. Patriarch Grug (Nicolas Cage) spends every day protecting his family by alternately leading them on life-endangering family hunting trips and terrifying them into staying in their tiny cave-home with stories about everything in the outside world being potentially deadly. "Never not be afraid," he says. Daughter Eep (Emma Stone) believes that's no way to live. Her sense of adventure carries her father away from the cave and her dad's controlling nature, much like any teen looking to figure out who they are. Everything changes when their cave is destroyed in the dramatic earth …
Friday, March 15, 2013
Horror, Suspense, Romance, Comedy — what will movie-goers want to see?
I'm sitting outside the Verizon Center, once again fighting for parking this week with the sports fans next door to my screening movie theatre. It reminds me, even when it matters, sometimes the winning team is a fluke, sometimes it's well deserved… As Cinema Siren is meant to "guide you through a sea of celluloid," I'd like to direct you toward the more deserving teams of filmmakers releasing something this busy week at the multiplex. With spring break upon us, this early March weekend offers an odd mix of genres, with each vying for the top spot at the box office. Best of luck to them, they'd be replacing or be added to a top 10 where only two have even 50 percent positive reviews, and some of which are so bad they should be benched like…
Friday, March 1, 2013
Doesn't amount to a hill of beans; two out of 5 starfish.
By the time the bombastic yet tragic minor-keyed Lord of the Rings-type theme music swelled to accompany Jack The Giant Slayer's climactic battle scenes, I was tempted to flamboyantly roll my eyes in slow motion. I couldn't have cared less. This new release, that was slated for last summer and tellingly sat on the shelf until now, is exceedingly straight-ahead, uninventive and laden with special effects. It leaves the audience feeling like it spent an evening at an expensive restaurant expecting to taste some delicious, innovative dish, only to find themselves digesting a bland, flavorless Betty Crocker casserole. Not only is the cuisine uninspired, ultimately, it doesn't amount to a hill of beans. Something new? Not hardly. Jack buys …
Friday, February 22, 2013
The 85th Academy Awards air Sunday night on ABC.
Every year we watch the Oscar nominees and presenters trot down the red carpet to sit through a night where we expect them to accept their victory or defeat with equal aplomb. As laypeople, we judge their designer dresses, make up and hair, their speeches and bemoan or cheer those who win as confusing or richly deserved. We all look forward optimistically, hoping these awards will further our favorite actors, directors and other filmmakers' careers. Whether they do or not, we are always in for a mix of boredom, surprise, pretension and earnestness. Is this year going to offer anything we don't already expect? Let's take a look at the nominees, and my take on who will walk away with what…Patch is holding a virtual Oscar party you can …
Saturday, February 2, 2013
'Zom-com' film rated PG-13 for zombie violence and language.
No, it's not an ode to necrophilia. It is a charming and whimsical movie that goes deeper than anyone would expect about connectedness, trust and a willingness to change. I never thought I'd say "this zombie flick is a great date movie," but now I have. As a matter of warning, it should be rated "Z" for brain-eating zombies. Still, a large cross-section of movie lovers will enjoy it, making it a far better choice February 14th than that new Diehard (coming out that day! Wah?), for everyone from girlfriends hanging out and Twihards, to couples who don't mind a bit of edge in their flicks. Playing at Rave Cinemas Fairfax 14 and AMC Tysons Corner 16 To all those who have heard or bought into the press about it being a wannabe Twilight clone…
Saturday, January 26, 2013
R-rated film released Friday in movie theaters nationwide.
Sometimes a movie is just...bad. We can all watch it and see what they had in mind, how the pitch went, how the director and producers signed on, and talked some pretty big stars into taking part. And we can see the whole thing derail through to post production, delayed release, and as we watch the finished product with an ever-dwindling vestige of hope. Such is the case for Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Why Cinema Siren is reviewing this movie at all is a fair question. I go on record as saying there is always a chance a good movie will find its way to the multiplex in January. Not the ones that were in limited released in LA and New York in December to qualify for the Oscars….Those are the movies everyone is busying themselves …
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Cliches eclipse acting in 'Mama,' and violence crumbles 'The Last Stand."
January. Everyone knows it is when the mediocre to the truly awful hobble off to die a quick death after beating each other senseless for a quick buck in the box office arena. When a film gets slated for release it is because there are no other contenders to fight for those dollars, or it won't survive any other time anyway. After all, everyone with any sense is scrambling to see the Oscar nominees. So one approaches January movies with a mix of optimism and dread. Two genre-specific movies are being released this week. If you are a fan of horror or ultra-violent action flicks, the studios are expecting you to gravitate away from those Oscar-nominated and towards these unproven offerings. The Last Stand is a "comeback" vehicle for …
Monday, January 14, 2013
Director Kathryn Bigelow overlooked for Oscar in Best Director category.
Zero Dark Thirty, which brought in $24 million in its first two days of wide release, has been lauded worldwide and almost universally as an impressive piece of filmmaking, a movie that is anything but formulaic. It is always very different for those of us who live within the Washington area. Our experience of anything political is amplified. The headquarters of the CIA, FBI, and of course, the White House, are all within driving distance. It is, therefore, nearly impossible not to have heard about the controversy surrounding this film. Senators Diane Feinstein (D-Calif.), Carl Levin (D-Mich.) and John McCain (R-Ariz.) denounced the film, for its depiction of torture. “We believe the film is grossly inaccurate and misleading in its …
Saturday, January 5, 2013
The great, the bizarre and the awful.
The box office receipts didn't automatically match studio expectations in 2012. For once, some of the most lauded movies took money away from the mediocre ones. This year we saw superheroes, grown-up movies, genre mash-ups and cartoons scoring places at the top of the box office. Much was made about big flops, from the divisive John Carter and ridiculous Battleship, both of which starred the same unlucky actor. This topsy turvy year in the world of film is likely to lead to some interesting shifts in focus for actors and filmmakers alike. Out of respect and a hope for healing I'm sure we all wish for the families involved in Colorado, Cinema Siren isn't going to spend much time on the movie event in 2012 that made the most newspapers. …
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Django Unchained a great, but ultra-violent genre buster.
"Django Unchained" is playing in Centreville. See showtimes here. If at this point in the season, dear reader, you are still hankering for Hallmark holiday rom-coms or your umpteenth viewing of "Rudy", let me suggest you give this review nothing more than a scan and toss away any thoughts of seeing Quentin Tarantino's latest. If however, you passed the worst dysfunctional family holiday in recent memory, "Django Unchained," the spectacularly politically incorrect and beautifully acted mash-up of revenge fantasy and spaghetti Western may be the perfect antidote. If you are a fan of the director's work, able to quote the lawn storage line from Pulp Fiction, run—don't walk—to your nearest theatre. You'll be talking about this movie for …
Chris Munchak
12:56 pm on Saturday, February 23, 2013
Only one day away! I think all of your predictions are spot-on. Kind of tired of Anne Hathaway myself, but who can say she doesn't deserve her recent accolades? Good luck, Oscar nominees! more ›